So it’s finally here. The day I dreaded, within the last decade. The day I turn into, thus earn the tag of being, the infamous, real life, 40 year old virgin. It’s here at last, and there is nothing I can do about it.
Just prior to my 30th Birthday, I rented the movie, The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005), and joked that it’s the story of my life. Little did I know then, that 10 years later, it would end up being a reality.
Leading a sexless life, has been partially my own choice. I never had anyone in my life, and I never felt that desperate, to have sex with just any Tom, Dick or Hariendre walking down the street. It had to be with some one I care about, who’d feel the same way about me. Alas!! My standards being a tad bit high (so I’ve been told by many a friends), and with my pretty decent upbringing, it’s been somewhat difficult for me. I’ve fallen in love quite a few times, but ‘twas always unrequited love. And if anyone’s felt anything for me (apparently some have, so I’ve been told, from friends/acquaintances), they’ve never come forward, at least not directly.
Though I’ve had some really good friendships in my life, both male and female, from around the globe, I’ve been a loner (and total loser – for many a sex obsessed, judgmental, individuals), when it comes to Love, Romance & Sex.
Fallen in Love many a times, but never had a Lover. A total Romantic personality, at heart, but never experienced Romance. And a Sexual desire that still exists, but have never acted upon it. Still, I don’t want to completely lose hope either. As always, I’d like to hope for best, and be ready for the worst. But I never really seem ready for the worst. The pain is unbearable, but I do have an inner strength to go on. Hope gets lesser as I age, and especially being stuck in this narrow minded country, constantly surrounded by negative energy, for the last (almost) six years, where I never really belonged, it just feels an impossible task, of ever finding anyone. It’s unfortunate that I came back to the country of my miserable roots, though not of my birth (I’ll always have a soft corner for the country of my birth). Roots are meant to stay buried, at least in my case, being a person who likes to branch out, and experience the fresh new challenges in the wide pleasant openness, out there. Yet, these horrible roots; along with it’s greenishly jealous venomous varmints, who are quite happily stuck in their hellishly dark confines of the underbelly underneath; are constantly tiring to drag me down, to be stuck among the roots, and their filthy, hypocritical, conniving mentality, full of a fake sense of patriotism, and false pride. But still, hope is something that keeps me going. Hope that someday, my branches shall stem away, and would venture forth, back into the future, where I belong; leaving my unfortunate roots, under the ocean, where they definitely belong.
I can never love my roots, not anymore. And nothing, and no one, can force me to do so. Not even me. A country that has given me so much of unhappiness, misery, stress and depression. And Shoving this country on to face constantly, only makes me dislike it further. Yet, I have no real desire to hate it. But circumstances, always gets my blood boiling. At the same time, I wish no one any harm. I just wish to lead a life of contentment, hopefully with someone someday.
Out of the last 40 years of my life, I’ve spent majority of my teenage years (12½ to 18½), and then the whole latter half of my 30’s (34¼ till date), in this country. And I’ve had to associate many a local, brain-dead and crude, pests, across the globe. Home is where the heart is, and my heart is wherever I feel welcomed and at home, thus far away from this country of my roots, unnecessary stress and uncalled for misery.
The best thing that happened to my life, is the adoption of a puppy, I named Gingerella (a.k.a Gingy), back in December 2014. She’s the naughtiest little thing ever. Yet, full of pure innocence and torrent of non-judgemental love.
Today is my 40th Birthday.
Born on the 22nd of June, 1975
Pouring my heart out
Nuwan Sen
Happy Birthday, Nuwansen! I don’t know where you live, but you need to move. Seriously. Save yourself and move to a sunny spot where every day is Audrey Hepburn day. 😉
You are brave to share such an intimate topic with the world. You are captain of your own ship; sail ! Sex is overrated. Emotional companions, friendships they last you longer than a romp in the hay. Have a fun day today and check out some new options! You are too sweet to be miserable.
Thanks Cindy, it’s really nice of you to say. Trust me, if I get a chance, I won’t think twice about leaving. But am fine, and mentally strong, and a survivor. I make myself happy, through my dog, the Blog et al.
Yes, I know sex is overrated!! But experienced people think it weird not to have ever had sex. Yet, you are right, an emotional connection is what am looking for too. Sex should happen naturally, not forced.
Thanks again.
I echo Cindy, you’re very brave to share such a personal post.
I wish you a peaceful day.
Thanks Paul, for agreeing with Cindy.
I am fine, and managing the best I can. Films & books help. And Blogging too!!!!
Many Many Happy Returns of the Day Nuwan 🙂 . As a neighbor of your home country i completely get your post, but hey in west 40 is the time you start to live your life, and 40 is the most in demand age among ladies, they love mature men,look at all the Hollywood heroes they all reach their prime when they are 40, and just change your (standard) strategy a little and you will i am sure find someone who is just made for you. Just give it a chance, a try. Wishing you the best of luck. Enjoy your day 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement man. But finding lady friends isn’t the problem buddy, as I have had quite a few, around the world, who’ve been good friends to me, and shown me a lot of love and respect. I’ve hung around with a lot of girls, and guys, as close pals.
Finding a lover, someone who’d be in-love with me, a life partner, to have and hold, that is the difficulty.
And people I’ve been in-love with, have never reciprocated, nor ever been close friends.
But thanks for your very positive outlook, without putting me down. That’s really nice of you.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, am yet to make my Coffee!! Ha!!
Remember we watched “life begins at 40” or something like that when we were kids? So the world is your blank page to write as you wish and live as you want in your own terms. who cares what anyone thinks 😀 it’s your life so of you are happy that’s all that matters……. cheers to another 40 years of you 🙂
Lots of love
Yes, I remember the show. a classic Brit-Com!!!
A couple that’s expecting a child at 40.
Boy!! Back then 40 was the middle-ages. Not anymore 🙂 Thank god for that.
Yup, I try to make myself happy, even in the worst scenarios .
Thanks for the lovely comment li’l sis.
found your blog accidentally…
first of all happy belated birthday!
second of all (hah?) kudos to you for sticking to your principles. sure, sex is nice but so is chocolate. and skinny dipping in summer. and roller coasters. and…a gazillion other things as you im sure know!
sex is the easy part. love is the hard part. but then again love is also a b****! (pardon my french)
i gave up on love some years ago because of all the pain it caused me, but then love found me back. i hope it finds you too ❤
Thanks for the kind words. 😉
I checked out your Sinhala blog too. Unfortunately, when it comes to reading & writing, my Sinhala is pretty pathetic.
But am glad you found your way here.
Keep Visiting.
Cheers
Nuwan